How Do You Forgive ?
The truth is that there is no straight forward answer. We have to recognize that this anger or bitterness accumulated from not forgiving, only affects US and at the end of the day destroys US.
You might be so fed up with the pain that the only option is to surrender and accept that nothing really matters, what happened , happened.
If you want your present to be different, then you must change and let go. Its all a matter of changing your perspective. Shift your center from the past to the present.
How will you see things from now on, and understand that nothing is ever personal.
When we go through traumas and hardships in our lives, we have a choice to make, let those experiences harden our hearts, make us bitter and angry or make us choose love.
Not forgiving is not loving yourself, because if you did, why would you make yourself miserable?
You have control over your emotions and by not forgiving, you are giving control away to an unhappy and sad creature that is not you.
To forgive takes discipline and time, it’s as if assuming a new routine. Don’t think that once you forgave someone it will never ever come up again.
It most likely will. Something will trigger it again, it will be from a different angle. It’s like peeling an artichoke there are many layers until you get to the heart of it, you must not loose faith. Look for support and know that if you do not handle it, it will become harder than before to reach that level of forgiveness. We develop tolerance to unhealthy pain, it numbs us.
There is a difference between being numb and forgiving.
They can be easily confused.
Rumi said” you have to break your heart in order to open it”
Keep breaking it, keep forgiving yourself, at the end of the day, you will find that in the heart of it all is forgiving your own self which is the hardest thing. All paths of forgiveness one way or another lead there.